If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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