i just google imaged poop.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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