so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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