did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
