dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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