So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
