She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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