After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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