break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
