If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
