i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
