remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
