very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Randomize
