why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
