Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
