worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.