You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished