She's JV to your varsity
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
