one two three fourrrrnication!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
