Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my phone needs a breathalizer
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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