If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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