You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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