I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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