Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
