My room smells like vodka and shame
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
