I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
