she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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