the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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