my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
