is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
