Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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