Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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