Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
