Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You are a genius and a whore.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
