he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
