and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
