you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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