i jhust puked up my retainher.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
