I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
