All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Small penises have feelings too.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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