well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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