It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
