Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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