he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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