Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
