White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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