Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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