I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
