Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize