HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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