ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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