is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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