I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
