I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
