I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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