hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
