Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
