I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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