Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
