is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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