Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
