i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
