Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
