I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
